Friends...They Just Don't Understand

The doctoral process is a really unique thing. There are many high points and even more low points. Most of the low points have to deal with personal situations. Now, the funny thing about me is that I am a happy loner. I love to be alone. However, my friends love to be around me. They wanna go here, go there and I'm like NO! They don't get it. They get mad when I don't show up and when I don't respond. But what they don't understand is that I have 1 responsibility and that it is to finish this dissertation. They are not doctoral students so they have no idea what I am doing and why. I get that. But I don't try to take them away from their obligations. So why do they try to take me from mine? I am trying to secure my life NOW. I am not trying to rip and run then look up, be 35 and stuck like most of them will do. I want to get it now and chill. So I am isolating myself until I am done. I don't care who gets mad, who talks about me, who feels some type of way. This is what I am doing.

Not as Bad as I Thought...

So at the suggestion of my committee member, CDC lady, I changed my dissertation topic just a little. I was all distraught and confused on where to pick up. I am one of those people who need to mind map for a long time and then can make up for that time in a day or two. It totally defies all of what we are taught but I continue to do it. Yesterday, I was sitting on my couch and just said to God "Just show me how? Show me where to start!" Just like that, God spoke and said "go to the stash of articles you printed 3 yrs ago. It's in there." So I separated the articles and there were a series of articles that pointed me in the right direction. I grabbed my highlighter, pen and pad and went to work! I was then able to outline where I am gonna go with this and began writing. I had to tell myself to stop getting stuck on sequence. Then as I wrote, I realized that much of the info from my old topic also applied to my new topic and I was so happy! *COMMAND C, COMMAND V* Just like that I had 12 pages within the hr. So I am so happy because I realize that with this topic, I have a whole lot more info and it's easier to plan. So I am excited to know that it is not as bad as I thought!