Gotta Just Do IT

The hardest part of this process is governing your own time, and being upset with yourself when you don't do what you say you will. That is where I am. My colleague just defended and has a job. I am very happy for him, but I won't deny that it makes me upset with myself. Now, clearly, his life is different than mine. I don't really have a financial support system and I have to think things through a little differently. But I have wasted a lot of time thinking, and doing other meaningless things when I could be working. So I am a little upset with myself. I want to finish, but it is almost like I am afraid to get done. I am a horrible multi-tasker. I only have true obligations on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that should leave me no excuse. I have been working out consistently, and I get so caught up in that, that I neglect my work. I dunno. This process just freaks me out. But in my class I teach about taking on obstacles like a bull. So I need to do just that. It is weird for me because I am almost devoid of emotion. I don't cry, I don't do much caring, I have no idea what "in my feelings" consists of, but this process frustrates the hell out of me. But I have decided to put it behind me and really come up with a plan. A strategic plan. I want to be ready to defend by my birthday. That is 6 months from now. I am off of school May 15th, and I am not working this summer. So I can actually do this. So now, I am gonna work to come up with a strategic plan to get this done. I need to lay out a plan, in handwriting, with measurable outcomes and deadlines. Gotta get it together. Just gotta do it...